![]() You could never successfully behave this way unless someone with more power then you allowed you to. He’s allowed to open his mouth, and speak a certain kind of truth, however unnecessarily mean and adversarial it is, because he has the support of the people in power (You can watch this amazing scene here – NSFW). Why is this lecture possible? Why didn’t they ignore him or beat him up? Is it Alec’s strong chin and trim physique? No, it’s because the owners of the company asked him to do it. In the movie Glengarry Glenn Ross, Blake (played by Alec Baldwin) gives perhaps the meanest lecture of all time to a bunch of salesmen. Having an idea changes nothing unless someone with sufficient power, and genuine interest, does something about it. It happened because my boss, or his/her boss, listened to my points and took action, or granted me the power to do so. I also realized in the past, in other groups, progress happened not simply because I was right and took a stand (as much as my ego wished it to be true). To achieve the same positive effects my opinionated nature had early in my career, I’d have to adopt a very different approach. It blew my mind to realize there were other cultures at all. It took months of suffering to realize I was in a different culture with different expectations. And I was far from having enough respect from anyone to be seen as a leader, which would be required to change the culture anyway. But I didn’t stop to think the group had its own bar, it’s own culture and it was not my job to set it. In my egocentric view, the work around me was well beneath the bar. Why wouldn’t they want to hear this? I thought.īefore I knew it, I was that guy. I even expected to be rewarded for telling people how bad things were. I felt obligated to mention these facts as often and as loudly as possible to leadership. ![]() Few people worked hard or asked tough questions. I thrived in this environment and assumed this was how the world worked.īut later, in a new job at Microsoft in a group known as MSTE, I discovered a different world. I might have heard praise for not being afraid. If I was wrong, I was dismissed, but not scolded. ![]() I argued with group managers, VPs, and many other tough, smart people far more senior than I was. If you saw something stupid happening you were obligated to raise your hand, say “I think this is stupid and here’s why.” If you were right, you were applauded no matter how senior the people in the room were. The later almost never leads to the former.īack in my early days at Microsoft I worked on strong teams where you were expected to have opinions. The trick to keeping your mouth shut is this: put the desire to effect positive change above your instinct to tell people they’re wrong. You simply become the person who always complains. Your ideas will be shot down simply because of the reputation of the mouth they come from. And the more you shove it in their face, the easier it is for them to ignore you. Most people can not handle the truth (or what you believe is the truth). I have been in successful recovery for years and I am here to share what I’ve learned.Īs a rule, if you insist on always speaking your mind, you will inevitably find yourself in an environment where everyone hates you. Dean doesn't know why or really even how it’s happening, but it’s getting harder and harder to remember that he has divorce papers to file.I have a disorder of a kind known as “can not keep my mouth shut.” If I think someone isn’t being honest, or even if I just disagree with them strongly, my arm raises, and my mouth engages, well before my brain can calculate the possible damage. Six weeks later, he’s still married to one of the strangest, most genuine and definitely most dangerously lov- likable guys he's ever known. His surprise husband, Castiel, is a little weird but likable despite that, and Dean figures they’ll go back to Boston, get a quiet annulment, and go their separate ways.
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